I have seen it happen several times and if I’m honest, it has happened to me more than once. As I am serving the church and doing things behind the scenes, thoughts and desires creep into my head. I start to dwell on things. The things I’m doing. And in turn, the things I’m not getting credit for.
My desire shifts from service to the body of Christ to service to me. I see a mental scale with all the things I am doing for the church on one side, and all the things the church is doing for me on the other. The scale is always tipped in the direction of what I am doing. Always. My desire becomes for myself and not the Church.
This is no foreign concept to anyone who has ever served in any capacity. If you step back and look at it, it’s absurd. Why did you enter into a position of service in the first place? If your answer isn’t “Because Jesus and the entire bible clearly states that if I’m going to call myself a Christian, I better be serving Christ’s Bride (the Church)”, then we need to talk. We serve because Jesus commands us to. Look at the life of Christ. Look at Philippians 2:3-7. We never serve to be recognized. So why do we want recognition? We don’t serve to stockpile clout and accolades so why do we feel like we should have more of a say?
The truth is if we look at this scale accurately, we see that what Jesus did for the church and for us on one side, there isn’t anything we could possibly do to put on the other side that will tip that scale. Nothing. Not even close.
This self-righteous, narcissistic, me approach and outlook doesn’t want to die. It’s like Chuck Norris in “Lone Wolf Mcquade”. You can bury him alive in his truck, but he is going to drive out and take vengeance. He won’t quit and he won’t die. The only way to kill it is to die. Romans 12:1-2 says we need to die to ourself. In response to grace, nothing is ours. We are dead and everything is Christ’s. We serve faithfully with no expectations of reciprocity. Christ gave himself for me, so I’m going to give myself to Him. This is my spiritual worship.